


How old are you?

by Ikasury



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Being Stupid, Competitive Blades, Gen, General Elpys Spoilers, Hilarity Ensues, Stupid Conversation, Team Aegis - Freeform, Team Bonding, ambiguous timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 09:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14850441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ikasury/pseuds/Ikasury
Summary: While having some down time, Team Aegis gets into a conversation about everyone's age. Stupid Competition ensues.





	How old are you?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Summer_Dusk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summer_Dusk/gifts).



> See, i can do general stuff, I SWEAR?!
> 
> This came about from a dumb conversation across comments on Inquisitor Nyah with Summer_Dusk ... SEE I DID IT!! :D
> 
> i'm fairly certain this is canon-compliant, as this was derived from us comparing notes from the weird bits of data the game gives about everyone's age and how we both still don't know how old Morag is~ XD
> 
> oh, yea, and SPOILERS!! for through Elpys... you all know the one~~
> 
> ENJOY!!

How old are you?

\-----

 

Sitting around in Garfont having a relaxing team meal after a day of training and missions, the Aegis team somehow got on to the topic of ages.

“Well the Zekenator is a respectable 25!!” the eye patch wearing dope of a prince of Genbu pointed at himself with his thumb in a very theatrical fashion. For all of about a minute as he suddenly started rubbing his chin, “At least I should be, I left Tantal about ten years ago and I was 15 at the time…” his lone eye caught on the Special Inquisitor sitting across from him, “Hey Morag, how old were you when I visited Mor Ardain? That wasn’t long after I left!”

Narrow light brown eyes glared at the prince of Genbu over a mug as she deliberately took her time finishing her drink. Politely setting it down she closed her eyes, seeming offended, “It is rude to ask a lady her age so directly…”

There was a snicker from Nia on the Inquisitor’s one side, and a better hidden one from Brighid on her other.

Seemingly confused, Zeke scratched his head, looking around comically, “The only ladies I see here are Pandy, Brighid and Mythra? And I didn’t ask them?”

“Oh my Prince…” Pandoria, sitting next to Zeke, put her hand to her forehead and sighed deeply. Sometimes he could really put his foot in his mouth.

“ ** _OI!!_** ” Nia stood up with fury, ears back and seemingly hissing as she glared murder at the prince of idiots, “What’chu mean only them three the only ladies here!!”

Mythra was flat out laughing, Brighid at least had the decency to hide her smirk and snickering behind her hand.

Morag narrowly glared at her Blade.

Zeke, not noticing a damn thing, was cleaning out his ear with his pinky, “Pipe down fuzzy-ears! I can’t hear the answer to my question with you yapping about!”

With a growl Nia sat down, glaring molten gold at the prince of idiots.

“I’m going murder him in his sleep,” Morag just flatly stated as she joined Nia in glaring at the one eyed man.

“I’ll join you,” the Gormotti Driver was quick to reply.

“Heyheyhey!!” Tora flapped his wings about angrily, jumping in now that no one else was, “Poppi is true lady!! How dare Zeke not include her in assessment!!”

Light brown and gold eyes glared at the Nopon engineer.

A cold chill went down Tora’s spine, at least he had the self-preservation instinct all Nopon were born with, “And-uh…” stiffly, sweating bullets, he fidgeted, “Also mayhap reevaluate list all together?” before anything could happen that Nopon survival instinct kicked in and he jumped behind his creation, “Poppi! Save Masterpon!!”

Nia and Morag’s glares had no effect on Poppi. Though she did roll her mechanical amber eyes, “Poppi not understand argument at all…” her cuteness was the greatest defense.

At the other end of the table Mythra was bent over laughing and hitting the table.

Rex, sitting next to the cackling light type Aegis and only having Dromarch be a wall between him and Nia’s obvious fury, was sweating bullets as well and didn’t want to get dragged into this argument, “Uh, hey! Weren’t we asking about how old everyone is?” scratching his head nervously he grinned wide, hoping to get the conversation back on track, “Here now, I’m 15!” he puffed out his chest, rubbing his nose, “Done right well for myself, haven’t I?”

The others were just staring at him flatly.

“Chum, I was traveling the world by then,” Zeke had his arms crossed, waving his hand, clearly not impressed, “Talk to me when you’re older, then I can tell you some _real_ stories!”

Gold eyes rolled across from the prince of idiots, as Nia leaned forward on the table scrutinizing Rex, “Yea, I don’t believe it, you gotta be younger than that, yea?”

“Hey!” the boy nearly shouted back, “I am so 15!” he blushed a bit when those eyes, and Gormotti ears, got flatter, “Well… I mean… just a bit short for my age is all,” he started scratching his head nervously, looking away, “Just haven’t hit my growth spurt yet!”

“Yea, sure…” Nia rolled her eyes, turning to the Ardainian woman next to her, “What’cha think? He tellin’ the truth?”

“It could be malnutrition,” Morag simply crossed her arm, thinking, “its doubtful a boy on his own has the proper habits to be eating right.”

“Oi! Watch it!!” Rex had his fists up, ready to argue.

“I’ll have you know he’s eaten quite regularly under my care!” Gramps popped up out of Rex’s helmet, ready to defend his former-passenger.

Morag just stared at them both sternly and they quickly bulked under that Inquisitorial glare.

There was snickering next to the Inquisitor, Nia finding the whole thing amusing, “Bet you’re younger than you claim,” she nodded her head back, pointing at Morag, “and I bet you’re shorter than she was at that age, ey?”

Suddenly on the spot, Morag tugged down her visor, trying to hide the blush that suddenly appeared.

“Hmm, not as I recall,” Zeke was rubbing his chin, eyeing Morag narrowly, “Bit of a pipsqueak if my memory serves…”

“And you haven’t changed since you were 15,” back were the angry crossed arms as Morag frowned at the man’s comment, “And for the record I should have been shorter than you as I am _younger_ than you…”

“Still not gonna tell us your age, ey, Morag?” sly gold eyes were looking at the woman with a cat-like smirk.

The Inquisitor just stared forward, ignoring the taunting Gormotti woman next to her.

Morag was saved any further interrogation as Tora jumped up and down excitedly waving his ear-wings, “This mean Tora older than Rex-Rex!!” he gave a fanged grin, putting his nubby hands on his waist, “By Nopon standards, Tora is 17! He almost adult!”

“Poppi only as old as been activated,” the little robo-girl had her hands up covering her face, seemingly embarrassed, “That would mean Poppi is youngest.”

There was a charming laugh, as Brighid gently placed her hand on the little Artificial Blade’s shoulder comfortingly, “No need to worry, Poppi. You are an Artificial Blade, so it stands to reason you would be considered to age like any other Blade.”

“Really?” those curious mechanical amber eyes blinked, “How is Blade age different from any other age?”

A gentle smile passed the elegant blue flame Blade’s face, “As most Blade’s come from their core crystals in an adult form or retain an adult level of knowledge, they are generally considered to be aged as an adult compared to their Driver and then the years they are activated are added accordingly…”

“Hmm…” Poppi tilted her head, “That mean Poppi would be considered just a bit older than Masterpon?”

A sly smirk rose on the keen-eyed Blade’s face, “Indeed.” It was worth the amusement of watching Poppi lord over Tora her Blade age.

“Brighid,” a dour voice called to the blue flame Blade, Morag narrowly eyeing her.

“Yes, Lady Morag?” a charming smile was the Inquisitor’s only response.

“Pfft!” it seemed Mythra finally got over her laughing fit, “What’s it all matter,” the light type Aegis leaned over the table aggressively, pointing at her chest with her thumb, “I’m _still_ older than the rest of you!”

Several eyes rolled at the declaration.

“Um, excuse me,” Gramps’ soft voice floated up beside Mythra as the baby Titan flapped his wings and put his tiny claws on his hips, “I’ve been around all these past 500 years, including time before the Aegis war, so that would make me clearly the eldest!”

“That would be true…” Mythra leaned on her hand, seeming to be defeated… for a moment, as she turned to the baby Titan with a wicked grin, “If you hadn’t regenerated yourself!” she reached out and picked him up by his tiny scruff, “So you may have the knowledge, but you’re no older than a baby now!”

There was a gasp, and Gramps was defeated, sinking back down into Rex’s helmet after he was let go by the shock.

“Ey?” gold eyes blinked curious, “This a competition or something now?”

“It seems so,” Morag blinked just as confused as the Gormotti Driver next to her.

Mythra looked triumphant, beaming at the rest of them.

Only for Brighid to stand up, arms crossed and brows furrowed, “You may have existed 500 years ago Mythra, but so did I.” Mythra had her arm up about to protest, only for Brighid to smirk and cut her off, “But I’m not about to claim I’m older than you based on that, the person I was then doesn’t exist now, the point I intend to make is that while you were there 500 years ago, you didn’t _live_ for 500 years…” those seemingly closed eyes zeroed in on the light type Aegis, “You were asleep in suspended animation all that time, after all…”

“I-well-yea…” Mythra squirmed, doubling back by the sudden counter attack.

Brighid pressed her advantage, “That would _mean_ those 500 years don’t count towards your true age!”

There may have been a squeak from the light type Aegis, critical attack!

“And since you were awakened during the Aegis war, only to finish it then go to sleep,” now there was an evil smirk on Brighid’s normally so serene face, “That would make your true age only a little bit older than Poppi!”

A defeated gasp left Mythra’s lips as she dropped back into her seat, setting her head on the table and dramatically crying, “I’m only as old as Poppi?”

“There, there,” Pandoria, the one close enough and only one brave enough, pat the light type Aegis’ shoulder, though it was obvious she was not nearly as consoling as she probably should have been.

Nia eyed Mythra down for the count, snickered and turned back to Brighid as the elegant blue flame Blade sat back down. The Gormotti woman gave a cheeky grin and thumbs up, “That was an impressive combo, real effective against the likes of the Aegis, yea!”

“Well done, Brighid.” Morag was not gloating, she swore she was not gloating.

The elegant Jewel of the Empire simply held up her hands innocently, “If this is a competition to see who’s the eldest, I was simply applying the same rules she used to oust Gramps.”

There were two whines from the end of the table, one from Mythra and the other emanating from Rex’s helmet. 

“Hmm,” Dromarch was waving his tail back and forth, “This doesn’t leave very many left…”

“Oi, not you too,” Nia turned on her Blade, scowling at his amused grin.

The gentlemanly tiger just chuckled, “Just a bit of fun my lady,” ignoring his Driver he leaned over, looking down the table towards the blue flame Blade, “Might I inquire, Lady Brighid, were you awakened before or after the war ten years ago?”

The two Ardainians stiffened momentarily, Brighid keenly aware of her Driver’s discomfort at the subject, “Lady Morag?”

With a small frown, Morag just waved her hand, trying to seem indifferent, “It’s alright, Brighid.”

“If you’re sure,” Brighid gave her Driver one last chance to protest, when the Inquisitor only made to grab her drink, she just shrugged and turned back to Dromarch, “Lady Morag did not reawaken me until after the war had ended, though I am unsure how much time passed since-!!”

Suddenly the cup was set down hard, silencing any further comment.

Dromarch watched Brighid give an apologetic shrug to the rest as Morag just sat sternly still for a moment. It was understandable, they all could easily assume why the subject may have been sensitive for the Inquisitor, Brighid was after all an Imperial heirloom of the royal family.

“I see,” the big white tiger gave a courteous nod, though he did have a bit of a smile on his face, returning the conversation to the silly topic at hand, “Then that would mean I am older than you, Brighid, though not by much.” His light blue eyes caught the blue flame Blade’s curiously raised brow, “When my lady awakened me the war was still going on…”

Nia just glared at Dromarch, it wasn’t worth bringing all that up just for a stupid competition-!!

“Ah-ha!” suddenly everyone turned and Pandoria was standing, dramatically pointing at the big white tiger, an odd sheen on her glasses, “Then that means I’m older than BOTH of you!!” she gave a cheeky grin, clearly wiping away the dark atmosphere, as she posed with her fists on her waist, “My Prince awakened me a year before he left on his journey! That would make me older than you both by miles!!” she gave a throaty triumphant laugh, “That means **_I’m_** the eldest here! Hahaha!!”

Several of the others immediately protested, Zeke being the only one to really cheer and share in the triumph, “That’s it Pandy! Show them what you got!!”

The glasses wearing electric Blade just kept up the triumphant laugh.

Nia just stared flatly in front of her, “Trust one of those two idiots to completely ignore the mood…” at least she got a small smirk from the Inquisitor next to her.

“ ** _HOLD IT!!_** ” the entire scene suddenly stopped, as Dromarch had hopped up and put his paws on the table, using his roaring voice to get all their attention, “There is still one other person that is clearly older than Pandoria here!” those light blue eyes were fierce and suddenly everyone realized just how big the beast type Blade was.

“Eep!” Pandoria, so triumphant a moment ago, hide behind her prince.

“Hey! What you on about chum!” Zeke, being Zeke, and the one to start this whole argument, was up and pointing angrily at the big tiger, unknowingly protecting his Blade.

There was something of an odd smirk on Dromarch’s face, as he sat back down, waving his tail amused, “If this is a competition and all the rules have been set in place, then there is only one clear winner here, and it is not Pandoria…”

Brighid, two people down, eyed the white tiger, picking up what he was laying down, “You’re right, Dromarch, there is someone that would be older now wouldn’t there…”

A dark brow rose on the Inquisitor as she eyed her Blade oddly.

“Meh-meh?!” Tora jumped up, “What Brighid and Dromarch mean?! Who is eldest on team and deserving of such high esteem!”

“We’re winning praise now?” Nia made a face, one ear propped up as the other was down, only to snort a second later, “What a silly competition…”

There was a deep baritone chuckle next to the Gormotti woman, “Now, now, my lady, you shouldn’t think it is so silly…”

“Ey?” she raised a brow, eyeing her Blade, “Why’s that?”

The chuckle increased as a smile was obvious on the big tiger, “Because you’re the one that has won it.”

“WHAT?!” the rest of the team, save Morag and Brighid, jumped up shouting. All eyes on the Gormotti woman.

Nia looked just as shocked, blinked a few times, thought about it, everything they’d been going on about with the technicalities of Blade ages and whatever… when she came to the same conclusion as her own Blade a sour look developed on the Gormotti woman’s face, “Bloody damnit, you’re right.”

Surprisingly, this got a chuckle from the Inquisitor sitting next to the woman.

“Oi, shut it,” Nia growled in a low voice, the sour look not leaving her face.

“Wait? I don’t get it?” Rex was scratching his head, “How’s Nia the eldest one here, she barely looks older than I am?!”

Nia’s ears dropped further as her face looked like that of an old angry cat.

Suddenly Mythra swapped to Pyra, and the red flame Blade was chuckling behind her hand, “Rex, Nia’s a Blade… or was originally…” her red eyes shined as she looked at the sulking Gormotti woman, “That means not only is she as old as Dromarch, there’s also the time before that which would be added to her age…”

Nia seemed to sink further towards the table, that face not leaving.

“How long was it, my lady?” ignoring his Driver’s clearly sour mood, Dromarch pondered while looking at the sky, “I believe you mentioned you were around at least a decade before awakening me once…”

Nia’s ears were flat and she was barely above the table at this point.

“Really?” now Zeke was leaning over the table, looking at their Gormotti companion while rubbing his chin, “I never would have thought the fuzzy-ears would beat the old Zekenator in such a competition!”

“Oi, watch it!” seething gold eyes glared at the man looking at her.

Rex was scratching his head, trying to wrap his mind around it, “So that means she’s been awake about as long as Morag’s been alive, AND adding on that bit about Blade’s being adults?” he looked so confused, “Man, no wonder she was calling me a kid back when we first met…”

“Friend Nia is full of all sorts of surprises!” Tora was waving his ear-wings about, truly surprised by this revelation.

“Masterpon cannot judge a book by its cover,” Poppi just quipped, tilting her head to the side.

Pyra was politely laughing behind her hands, “Sorry Nia, but it seems you are the eldest one here.”

The Gormotti woman’s ears and eyebrow were twitching at this point, “I hate all of you…”

Of course, the immediate response was a round of laughter from the group.

Well, except from Morag, she turned to the woman beside her, an amused smirk on her face, “Well then, since you won the _competition_ ,” there was an obviously amused snicker to her voice at the word, something that made Nia twitch angrily, “Care for a celebratory drink?”

Narrow gold eyes looked at the Ardainian woman, “You buying?”

“Of course,” that dangerously smug smirk rose on the Inquisitor’s lips, “I would hate to disrespect my elders…”

There was some manner of growl, “ ** _Shut it_** ,” before Nia raised her hand, “Get me out of here, away from all these lunatics!”

Morag only chuckled, standing up, pulling Nia with her, and linking their arms together as they went to go sit at the bar, _away_ from all the children.

“Hey be careful! Watch out for her Morag, wouldn’t want her to slip and break her hip!!” Zeke shouted, clearly intending to be a jovial taunt. The rest laughed, throwing out a few more jabs, trying to understand this new weird information.

“I’m going to kill him,” Nia said curtly, hands twitching and her grip increasing on Morag’s arm.

The Special Inquisitor simply pat her hand linked in hers sympathetically, “We can start planning once we get some drinks.”

Zeke von Genbu, Bringer of Chaos! Not only made an enemy of Nia that day but gave Morag a deadly ally in their fierce life-long rivalry.

\-----


End file.
